P/E ratio- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing.
A Accountant walked into a jeweller's shop late one Friday, with a beautiful young lady on his side.
"I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend" he said.
The jeweller looks through his stock, and takes out an outstanding ring priced at $4500.
"I don't think you understand ... I want something very unique", he said.
At that, the jeweller went and fetched his special stock from the safe.
"Here's one stunning ring at $33000."
The girls' eyes sparkled, and the young man said that he would take it.
"How are you paying?"
"I'll pay by cheque, but of course the bank would want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a cheque and you can phone the bank Monday and I'll collect the ring on Monday afternoon".
Monday morning, irritate jeweller phones the man.
"You lied there's no money in that account."
"I know, but can you imagine what a Fantastic WEEKEND I had?"
He was a very cautious man, who never romped or played.
He never smoked, he never drank, nor even kissed a maid.
And when he up and passed and away, insurance was denied.
For since he hadn't ever lived, they claimed he never died.
An accountant is in a car traveling with a farmer client around his farm.
They pass a large mob of sheep and the farmer says, "You're pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?"
The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says, "One thousand, eight hundred and thirty two."
The farmer is amazed. "Exactly right", he says. "How did you work that out so fast?"
"Easy," says the accountant "I counted the number of feet and divided by 4."
Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing:
"He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child:
"No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible, but I like your thinking".
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